


Gusty Remorse

by o0JayWolf0o



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Brooding Caverns, Earth-C, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Human/Troll Relationship, Kingdoms, Multi, Reconstruction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 12:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12481932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o0JayWolf0o/pseuds/o0JayWolf0o
Summary: John is having a hard time dealing with the space his father should have filled.





	Gusty Remorse

John was kind of lost.

When he’d first arrived to Earth-C, he’d been overjoyed - he’d beaten SBURB! He’d met new friends, and oh, golly, look how  _ far _ he’s come! He built civilization and helped with the brooding caverns a bit, telling Jade to put x building adjacent to y building. He’d designed the human kingdom with the help of his friends and raised baby alternates of him and his buddies. He would send pictures of everything to Terezi and hope to god that maybe Vriska would be found. All the way, he’d remembered the glowing ‘GAME OVER’ that shone broadly when he’d first set foot on the greenest grass he’d ever laid eyes on.

But then he got the chance to relax.

While, yes, this was something he’d wanted - he was exhausted from overworking! - he also got a lot of time to think. He began to decorate his new home. When he did, he was proud - but oh, it felt so _empty_ without all the dumb clown posters and harlequins his dad would leave around, so he alchemized some spin-offs of those and set them to and fro. Oh, but what about all the cakes that were usually in the fridge? What about the random pipes and hats his father would forget? What about the pictures of his family?  
So he’d remodeled. He’d build new things to lay around, and finally, _finally,_ he was done. 

It still felt lonely, though - and he knew why.

His father was gone.

When he thought of the man, he would strain back tears. No wonder he felt so bad. No wonder everything was dull. He wanted his dad - the one person he could truly rely on for comfort or silly pranks. The man who raised him, who mattered the most. 

Perhaps, he had thought one day, sitting idly on his bed just after brushing his teeth, I should spend time with Jane and her father. Surely they must be similar? Maybe what I’m really,  _ really _ missing is time with my friends! And so he’d left the comfort of his home, his heart heavy, and glided through the skies to the familiar building that Jane had made. He landed and shuffled, taking a deep breath and putting a lopsided smile on his face that felt just a bit strained, and knocked.

The knob twisted a bit before a familiar face stood in front of the boy. “John!” Jane said, smiling with those ever-so-present teeth poking her bottom lip. She had grown - her hips were wider and her body was round as a pear. Her hair hadn’t been cut and flowed a bit past her shoulders, with her glasses slightly askew on her face. As of now, she donned an apron with flour and dough splattered to and fro on it.

“Hey, Jane! How’s it going with the whole Crocker Corp. business?” John scuffed his foot on the rocks beneath him.

She took a moment, pursing her lips, before stepping aside. “I’ll tell you all about it when you’re actually inside.” He walked into the living room, a heavenly warmth wrapping around him, and took a seat on her pristine, white couch. 

The home smelled of fresh goods, and instead of joining him on the couch, Jane scurried into the kitchen. After a few moments of looking around and such, Jane walked back into the living room - much more calmly this time - with a tray of steaming cookies. When she offered him a cookie and he took a bite, he almost had a foodgasm right there - sure, he was tired of baked goods, but if anyone could make him feel better with just treats, it was Jane. He thought of her like a sister, when in reality, he was more of a - what did Karkat call it, dancestor? - dancestor to her.

She set the tray down and unravelled her apron, tossing both it and her mittens into a basket that lay adjacent to the bathroom. “So, what’s wrong?” She began, crossing her legs and reclining against the couch.

“What do you mean?” John said, cocking a brow. 

Jane rolled her eyes. “John, I may not be Rose, but I can tell when something’s bothering you!” She took a moment to eat a small portion of a cookie. “You can tell me anything, I promise.” She had a caring look in her cyan eyes that made John feel just a little bit better.

He spilled.

“Well, I… I really miss my dad,” he confessed, wringing his hands together and swallowing against the steadily forming lump in his throat. “When we first got here, I was just so occupied, you know? I never really thought about him - but, I- you- everything’s so  _ hard _ without him!” He blinked for a moment, taking a quick second to breathe.

“Everything I do reminds me of him. Am I playing a prank? Oh, fuck,  _ Dad _ taught me about that! Am I eating some food? Woah, this doesn’t taste anything like  _ Dad’s! _ Am I reading the news? Oh my fuck,  _ Dad _ did that too!” His words were beginning to rush. “And he taught me everything, but now he’s just fucking  _ gone! _ And, I guess, I mean- I came here to see if  _ your _ dad was like mine, but even if he was, he’s not the same, so what the hell? I don’t- Jane- I-” John broke off with a hiccup, squeezing his eyes closed behind his glasses and stopping himself. It was quiet.

Jane broke the silence first. “John, I’m.. I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I don’t know what to say,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around the smaller boy’s frame. They embraced, John trying to cease the flow of tears coming from his eyes, when a knock came to the door.

“Who is it?” Jane shouted, patting John’s back and standing up. He wiped away the evidence and hummed lightly, cramming a cookie to his mouth to he wouldn’t have to talk. 

“It’s your best fri-e-end!” a feminine voice drawled. Jane opened the door to reveal Roxy and Calliope, someone John has only spoken to a handful of times. She was careful about not being too close to either of the other girls - probably a cherub thing.

“Oh! Hi guys! John and I were just eating some cookies!” He’s thankful she left out the part where he kind-of-sorta started sobbing on her shoulder.

“Oh, Hey Johnny boy!” Roxy greeted. Calliope simply waved, something John returned. He swallowed.

“Hi Roxy.”

The girls entered the house and took a seat on the couch, per Jane’s request. Calliope decided to sit in a chair across from them. John thinks he remembers something about Aranea telling him that cherubs usually didn’t ever interact with anyone but their mate, but he’s not sure - the memories are fuzzy, what with the alternate timelines he can remember but his friends can’t. Speaking of which, he’s surprised Dave and Karkat ended up a whole thing, considering how much they hated each other last timeline.

“So, Callie and I were wondering if you wanted to come and chill w’th us at the carapace kingdom? It’d be totes rad, y’know. Oh, and I wasn’t gonna invite John, but he can totally join us because he’s pretty chill.” John chuckled. Roxy was always one of his favorites out of his friends’ dancestors - she was just so funny. 

“Sure, I’ll come! I don’t really have much else to do anyway. John?” Jane turned to him.

He shrugged. “I think I’ll pass. I’m kind of tired.” He was only 19, but he didn’t see a reason to stay a night out partying. Really, that was an excuse - he just didn’t want to talk to anyone but Jane right now.

“Awww - okay, that’s fine. Well, we w’re plannin’ to go right now, if you will?” Roxy tries her best to imitate someone fancy, but she fails miserably. John snorts. He excuses himself and trekked to the town, his smile slowly fading the whole way.

When he arrived to the city, it was loud - cars were here, stands of food there, some trolls to, some humans fro. He saw a reincarnation of a troll Dirk with black hair and Jane’s glasses and waved at it. The kid smiled back, stars in his eyes, as if he were meeting his favorite superhero. He probably was.

John wandered the streets for a while, dodging various crowds and buying a few items he might need later when his shoulder roughly collided with something blue and furry.

“O-oof!” he wheezed, stumbling. His merch fell to the sidewalk and he made a noise in the back of his throat.

“Oh, oh no, I’m - I’m sorry, uh, here,” a masculine voice apologized. 

When John knelt down and grabbed his stuff, a furry blue hand helped him with the rest. “Tavros?” John asked, finally meeting the face he’d seen.

“Ah, uh, yeah, that’s me, but I go by GCaTavros, um, or just Tavros, I guess,” he stuttered.

Once he had his stuff, John smiled to the sprite. “Well, sorry for that! I was kind of in my own little world,” he shrugged. “You can do whatever it is you were going to do, I guess.”

GCaTavros lit up. “Oh! Well, uh, actually, I was looking for you! See, Jake wanted to know if you could, uh, come to the, consort kingdom? He said he, uh, ‘wanted to see my old, chap again,’ but it’s okay, if you don’t want to go.”

John saw the out, and he took it. “Yeah, I guess I don’t want to go. I have some stuff I want to do. Can you tell him that?” He wondered why Jake just didn’t pester him before.

Tavros deflated. “Er, sure. Sorry, again, for the mess, I’ll go now,” he stumbled, before zipping away. John quirked a brow at the strange behaviour but realized he must be acting pretty strange himself.

And so he went home.

It was lonely, he thought, when he shut the door and the sound of it echoed through the empty house. Echo, though, wasn’t really a good way to describe it. It was more of a sad feeling - as soon as the Heir had stepped into his home, he felt a weight settle over his chest.

He entered his room.

He crawled on the bed, suddenly feeling tired. He was sad, he missed his dad, and he wanted to go to bed, god dammit! He was a legal adult - or, well, old enough that on the old Earth he’d be considered an adult.

He closed his eyes and tried not to think about his father, ignoring the feeling rising numbness in his chest before consciousness was finally taken away from him and he fell into a fitful, light sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are appreciated   
>  [ tumblr ](https://o0jaywolf0o.tumblr.com)


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